


Kronk's Day Off

by Suaine



Category: Emperor's New Groove (2000)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 04:45:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13116300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suaine/pseuds/Suaine
Summary: Kronk has a plan and no one is going to stop him. He's much smarter than people giving him credit for, especially his Shoulder People.





	Kronk's Day Off

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Linsky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linsky/gifts).



Alive and squirming with bugs, the jungle was not something Shoulder Devil particularly enjoyed. Usually he sat on top of Kronk's shoulder, as the name suggested, but today things were different. A whole damn lot of things were different because Kronk had disappeared without them. Shoulder Devil had no idea that this could even happen. From down below, the jungle looked much much bigger and much much scarier.

Kronk's scout troop was swarming out with all sorts of investigative tools, lenses and books, to try and find some kind of trace but so far they had found only bugs, snakes and other crawly creatures.

Pigtails came bouncing up to them. “I think I found something!”

Shoulder Angel dragged himself up from the fit he'd thrown a few seconds ago. “I knew you would, little detective! You are very smart!”

Shoulder Devil rolled his eyes. “You literally just rolled around in the dirt yelling 'oh no, we will never be whole again, we will be lost forever'.” He tried to sound hurtful but worried it came out a little too fond.

Shoulder Angel huffed, affronted in that particular way he had, like he only ever spoke the truth, and nothing but the truth. Shoulder Devil knew for a fact that that was the most bald-faced of all lies. “Let's go find our Kronk.” He tugged at Shoulder Devil's arm and it felt oddly intense. They hardly ever touched, forever divided by Kronk's big head. But Kronk wasn't here right now.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Shoulder Devil said as he stomped after his associate.

“You have a bad feeling about everything,” Shoulder Angel said. “You are literally made of bad feelings, that's the whole point of you.”

Shoulder Devil sighed. “I don't think that's true. I have good feelings too, sometimes.” He did have those, sometimes. They were weird and uncomfortable and made him smile for no good reason. Like fluffy bunnies and silly things the Shoulder Angel said.

Shoulder Angel laughed. “You? That's the funniest thing that ever came out of your mouth.”

For some reason the mockery made Shoulder Devil feel less enthusiastic than normal. This was their thing, they argued and poked at each other until Kronk decided what to do, usually meeting somewhere in the middle, if not closer to Shoulder Angel's side. Shoulder Devil knew that he was the underdog in this situation, Kronk was too simple a creature to be truly evil. Shoulder Devil had never met Isma's celestial companions, but he assumed her shoulder devil was a lot better at his job.

Speaking of, the evil bastard kitten sauntered up and swiped at Shoulder Angel's face. Shoulder Devil used his trident to herd her away. “Bad kitty, stop that!”

Shoulder Angel hid behind him, pressed up to his backside like a warm, heavy security blanket. It had to be all those angelic feathers. Fluffy, fluffy feathers. It did not make Shoulder Devil smile. “Why are you hiding back there? One little kitty too much for you?”

“You know that I'm allergic,” Shoulder Angel said, sniffling a little to make his point. “Thank you.” The last words were mere whispers on Shoulder Devil's skin.

Pigtails giggled and pushed the kitty out of the way. “That's enough of that, look over there.” She pointed at a large mound, some kind of ant hill in the shape of a human. Oh no. Oh no no no. What if Kronk had been eaten by ants? They could never be whole again! Shoulder Devil had a moment of panic. Could they even live without Kronk?

Shoulder Angel touched Shoulder Devil's shoulder. “Hey, are you okay? You look a little pale.”

Shoulder Devil shrugged. The hand stayed in its spot, solid and warm. “No. I mean, yes. I'm okay. There's nothing wrong.”

The ant hill turned out to be a very normal ant hill, with nothing inside it but ants. The squirrel was fighting a few hundred of them and the kitten seemed to be able to put them in marching bands that listened to her commands. That kitten was the scariest Isma had ever been.

“Maybe we should change our tactics,” Shoulder Angel said. His hand was still all over Shoulder Devil. It marked him like a brand. “We have to think like Kronk if we want to find him.”

That was ridiculous. “That's ridiculous,” Shoulder Devil said, with as much sarcasm as he could muster, which was a lot. “No one thinks like Kronk.”

They both turned to look at Squirrel, the squirrel. Shoulder Devil sighed and began squeaking a question. “Where would you go if you were Kronk?”

Squirrel squeaked. “I'm not a Kronk.”

Shoulder Devil facepalmed so hard he nearly gave himself a concussion. Shoulder Angel laughed and squeaked a new question. “If you were very big, where would you hide?”

Squirrel made a thinky face for a few seconds; it looked decidedly constipated. Then his ears perked up. “The food place!” He bounced off into the jungle, heading eastward to the bug diner.

Of course! That's where Kronk was happiest. He loved to cook! Maybe he was having an emotion and needed to deal with it in a safe space. Maybe he just wanted to cook things. Shoulder Devil hurried after Squirrel and wondered if this was it, if they would find their wayward host. He had no idea what had separated them in the first place, but it had been an entirely unpleasant experience. Well, maybe not entirely unpleasant. It had been nice to be able to touch Shoulder Angel.

Outside the diner, Shoulder Angel stopped his excited dash and came to a halt. Shoulder Devil stood next to him. “What's up, buttercup? Worried we won't find him in there?”

Shoulder Angel turned to look at him, and Shoulder Devil had never felt so exposed. “Worried that we do, actually. This,” he gestured between them and at the general area around. “It's been nice. Don't get me wrong, being Kronk's conscience is good work, but, well.”

Shoulder Devil smiled. “It's still work, and who wants to work all the time, right?”

Shoulder Angel smiled back. “Exactly.”

Kronk was dragged out of the diner by an enthusiastic bundle of scouts and a squirrel. The kitten had disappeared somewhere, probably plotting world domination via ants. “Ah, there you two are! Ready to pop up here,” he patted his shoulder, “or do you need some more vacation time? I can take care of myself a little while longer.”

Shoulder Angel was about to jump up there where they belonged, but Shoulder Devil held him back. “Just a while longer,” he said, his voice soft and sweet.

Shoulder Angel nodded. “Just a little while.”

Kronk looked entirely too satisfied with himself for this little plan. Shoulder Devil would have to think of a way to pay him back. Later.


End file.
